Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
