Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
