Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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