Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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