Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
