I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
