if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize
