another moral hangover. fuck.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
