just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize