at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
The air taste purple.
Randomize
