talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I will pee on everything he values.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
