He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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