We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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