"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
