your room smells of hookers.
And success
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
