marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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