Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
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so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
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I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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