Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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