I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
