Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
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He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
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I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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