Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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