That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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