Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
