I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Is her dick bigger than yours?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
