We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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