Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
