Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
