I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
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