At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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