ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize