thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
