So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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