do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
