hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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