bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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