So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
