Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
