Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
