brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Randomize
