garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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