I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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