At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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