oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize