Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize