absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
