beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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