wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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