Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Be still, my beating vagina.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
