Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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