I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she smelled like a LAN party
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize