The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
