I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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