And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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