Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The beers last night were like the tears from god
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
