Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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