sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
