Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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