sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
