if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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