I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
