My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
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