she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize