i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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