Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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